Sunday, 25 January 2015

Are these types of people really 'friends'?

So I've been friends with these two girls for just over 2 years now, at my school, and I never thought I really slotted into place with them. I never really realised why I didn't fit in until recently.
Like, we have the same interests, we talk about the same things, we like and hate the same people but something never worked. As if it was the wrong key to the lock that let me unlock the whole 'friendship', if you will.

I realised recently that I am not the specific problem here, I think it's just up to them when they want to be asses. They make fun of me, they take the mick out of things I like, and are quite controversial and contradicting about it. For example, I like a specific band that were on the X Factor last year (Stereo Kicks) and whenever I talk about them (which is not often because they get all pissy about it), they roll their eyes, take the mick, tell me to stop obsessing over people who don't even know I exist and who will never know I exist. The funny thing is though, they love Olly Murs just as much as I love my band, and they talk about him a load more than I do. A few weeks ago, when they were having 'fangirl attacks' over him when all 3 of us were at one of their houses, I said "See, this is I feel about Stereo Kicks, like you guys do about Olly Murs", obviously in a joking manner. But what made me mad was when one of them said 'At least he's made something of his life" in the bluntest form possible; if any of you know who Olly Murs is, then you'll know he was on the X Factor in 2009, therefore he was in the exact same situation Stereo Kicks are in now, 5 years ago. It just shows they have to have a dig at everything I love/have, even stooping down to that level.
These girls constantly want their views heard and won't stop going on until anyone else gives in, and always claim they're right. I hate it, it makes me feel like shit, and when they play the innocent/vulnerable card- that's when shit hits home.

Are these people really the type of people I want as friends? No, f*ck no. But I have no other friends, I have one friend who's home-schooled and one friend who lives in Birmingham (2-3 hours away from me), but other than that I have no friends. And it really sucks. I feel lonely and tired of all the shit I'm given, like I just want to give up. I don't want to be 'that kid' that goes around school with her head hung low, walking by herself, eating by herself, just by herself. The girl from Birmingham is one of the nicest people I've ever come across, to be honest, I wish she went to my school, at least then we both wouldn't feel so lonely, as she's in a similar situation.

I'm seeing my head of year tomorrow morning and she's really chill and helpful and gives me cups of tea. Hopefully she'll make things a little better as I feel more and more lonely as each day goes by.

M ♥

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